EJShaun.com

Aliyah opened her front door and gasped.

“Delivery for Ms. Gavins.”

Kelvin struggled to hold it, his cheeks as red as the petals. It might as well have been a broom. He surprised her with a bouquet of roses, two dozen at least. The colors burst, wrapped in silk and tied with a cute pink bow. The stems poked through the bottom.

“Boy, you did not have to get me flowers.”

He pulled them back. “You don’t like them? Oh no, do you not like flowers?”

“Of course, I like flowers.” She grabbed them. “Come on, now. They’re gorgeous.”

In the next room, Markus cleaned up for the party. He pushed the furniture back and sprayed the cushions with air freshener. A case of alcohol sat on the counter. He still needed to restock the bar.

She yelled his name to get his attention. The music blared in his headphones. She asked him to take the bouquet to the kitchen and find a vase for it. She then ran back and dove into her boyfriend’s arms.

She couldn’t believe how much she missed him. They hadn’t really seen each other since their vacation. He wore the same spicy cologne he had on at her dad’s. She came up on her toes to kiss him, and thank him, but he turned away, and she kissed his cheek.

“Whoa, what was that? What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer.

“No, no, no. We already took this step, remember?”

The floor creaked under him.

“Did something happen?” She slid her hands into his. “You said you were good over the phone. Did that change? If you’re worried about the studio, I thought we knocked it out the park. Seriously, that was hot, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, no, it was. It’s just…”

She pulled him closer. “Then what? Please, if something happened, I need to know.”

He felt cold. He stared at the walllike he couldn’t bear to look at her.

“I bumped into Dylan,” he said at last, “As I was leaving. He stopped me to check my ID. He said you were having trouble with your lines, and he wondered if it had anything to do with your scene coming up. You know, your first kiss?”

A sharp pain stabbed into her side.

“I know it’s your job, and I get it. I do. I just feel weird about the whole thing. Like, is that why you kept laughing? It wasn’t the look, was it? It was him. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but I can’t help thinking you only kissed me because you knew you were kissing him.”

His eyes finally met hers. He cried without shedding a tear. She put a finger up to give herself a minute, walking to the other side of the room.

“It wasn’t the only reason I did it. Obviously, I wanted to. Since my dad’s, actually. I just couldn’t find the right moment. Between the skate fest and the show…” She sighed then fixed her blouse.“I’ve never struggled like this before. I don’t even think I’ve ever liked someone this much.”

He flinched, gawking at her. She probably surprised herself more than anybody.

“It’s hard to explain, but it feels like I’m competing with myself. The character I play, Tasha, she moves fast, and I can’t seem to separate her relationship from ours. What I used to do doesn’t work anymore. Not with you.”

She brushedsome dustoff the rhinoceros statue. The horn had chipped, and a crack was beginning to form around the base.

“I can’t believe what I’m asking. Usually, I’m the one pumping the brakes. It just doesn’t feel right letting him get so close unless I know you and I are already past it.”

“How close do you guys get?”

“Not very. Mostly just kissing, but he does grab my ass once or twice. There’s also a scene where I’m in lingerie, and we’re— You know…”

His breath grew shallow. He hunched over like it upset his stomach. She felt a little sick herself.

“No, yeah, that’s not so bad,” he said, avoiding her gaze,“It’s just— I was only supposed to be hanging on here. I never imagined I’d get this far. With Aliyah Gav—” He cut himself off.

“And how do you think I feel? Dating a fan? That’s not me. Do you know how much hate I’m getting? I’m risking half my fanbase here. And you wanna know the crazy part? I don’t even care. Not if we could actually have a shot at this.”

He scratched his brow, hiding behind his hand. “Can’t we just go back, like, to how it was before your dad’s? I mean, I only have a couple more weeks—”

“No, Kelvin, we can’t go back. Did you not hear me?”

“This is why I didn’t wanna get so close.” He turned his back and raked his fingers through his hair. “I knew I would spiral. I was so afraid of hurting your career. I never thought I’d be the one getting hurt.”

“You’re not the only one getting hurt.” Her voice cracked. “But that’s the thing about relationships. Sometimes you get hurt. That’s how you know they’re real.”

“It wasn’t ever supposed to be real.”

She clenched her fists. “Fuck you, Kelvin. It’s been real for me ever since you crashed my signing. Stop treating me like there’s this screen between us. I’m tired of it. I’m not just some star you can orbit. I’ve fallen for you, damn it. Now, where are you?”

Her words stung long after she said them. She’d never yelled with so much fear behind so much anger. It was the kind of depth she aspired to in her acting. Even when he made her mad, he made her better.

Once more, he said nothing. Nothing to her anyway, although he did talk to himself. He repeated something in a whisper, bobbing his head to a beat that wasn’t there. She almost told him to stop.

“Did you not hear me?”

“How’d I end up under it?” he said with his back still turned, “I tried to stay in front of it. I thought I was outrunning it, so what is this? Crushes aren’t supposed to crush the crusher when he’s crushing it.”

He faced her, hiking up his sleeves. He wore her favorite button-down that day, tucked in just the way she liked. A chill shot up her spine.

“Me, on a killer beat, could I get that millipede? That, that millipede, lines of a million feet. Li, on the silver screen, she can get that millipede. That, that millipede, lined up and filling seats.”

Was he singing? The piece didn’t sound like one of his raps. It sounded more like a song.

“How’s the ground feeling like it’s solid for once, when last time I checked, I’ve been falling for months? Like I’m standing tall, but inside I’m hollering, duck. Out here, balling it up, yet still, crawling through mud.” He laughed. “Maybe that’s just how it is in Hollywood, huh? One day, hollow and stuck, like it’ll always be rough. The next, flush with more stuff than you could haul in a truck. Come on, how could any woman ever follow this up? Am I all in or what? What other call is enough? I mean, even if I’m scared… Swallow that lump. And tell her. Look her in the eye and say I’m falling in love.”

The room brightened, glittering under the chandelier. Her heart swelled and jumped into her throat.

“Did you just come up with that?”

He blushed and shook his head. “No, I’ve been kinda working on some things lately. Since Aja’s studio.”

“You’re making music? Like, a demo?”

He smiled into his collar.

“Kelvin!”

She so badly wanted to squeal. To dive into his arms and beg him to stay. She’d been thinking about it for days now. He didn’t need to go back to school. He could stay in L.A. and chase music. And she could help.

Before she said anything, he was in front of her. The rush of air tickled her nose with a subtle spice. She gasped as he kissed her, his lips quivering against hers. Her blouse snagged and lifted up a little. He smacked her ass sometime after.