Aliyah poured herself one more drink, despite how late it was. Or was it considered early now? Somebody locked the liquor cabinet, so she had to go with her second choice. Tequila with a splash of orange juice. Wait, flip that. Orange juice with a splash of tequila. She made one for Kelvin, too. They ditched the party once it died down enough to sneak away. No offense, but on a night like tonight, the crickets were better company.
“Boy, you suck at ping pong. Like, didn’t you say you played in your dorm?”
“Not against anyone good, apparently.”
She laughed, staring at the lights of downtown. “Yeah, my grandma taught me. She always carried paddles around in case there was a table on set.”
“That’s right. I remember reading about that. You’re both southpaws, aren’t you?”
She nodded and missed the straw with her mouth. “That arrangement is gorgeous, by the way. Those roses. You really found a good shop.”
“I’m glad you like them. It’s kinda funny, actually. Oakey made it.”
“Oakey? Like, your buddy?”
“Yeah, he delivers flowers for a shop and sometimes makes them. He told me he snuck in a few extra for you. I think he still feels bad about the video.”
Music streamed through the balcony speakers. They took the cushions off the chairs and built themselves a cozy spot on the floor. The city twinkled between the slats in the railing.
“I hate to ruin the mood,” she said with a hiccup. Which totally didn’t help. “But can I ask you something? It’s about the battle?”
He hung his head. “I went too far, didn’t I? That part about my mom? I just wanted to keep up, and that flow really threw me. I knew I should’ve just rapped about you.”
“Stop that.” She slapped him on the stomach. “I like when you rap about yourself, too.”
His cheeks flushed red, his dimples as cute as ever. He would’ve hidden behind his hand if she wasn’t lying on his arm.
“I was more wondering about the end. It got pretty intense there. Did you almost start a fire or something?”
The grin on his face broke in two.He sighed and lay back on the pillows, staring at the stars.
“I suppose, if there was gonna be someone to tell, right?”
She rested her head on his chest.
“So, the last time I saw my mom, I kinda spiraled. Like, really bad. I had to stay with her one weekend, and for some reason, she brought me to her boyfriend’s place. My dad’s was being fumigated, and he was out of town. I begged to stay at a friend’s, but I guess she really wanted to see me. I remember I couldn’t drive yet, because I walked home that night. Can’t believe I didn’t get picked up for curfew.”
A woman shouted next door. Her dogs kept barking.
“Anyway, the first night wasn’t terrible. The guy lived in a trailer with a spare room, so I just chilled in there. I guess he played baseball in high school and had all these trophies and newspaper clippings on the wall. Pretty sad. I couldn’t touch anything, but otherwise, it wasn’t bad. Some people came over to play cards, and my mom paraded me around, saying I was such a good kid or whatever.”
A lot of bad hung on that word, good.
“I spent the next day cleaning. The guy taught me how to change the oil in his motorcycle like it was some big father-son thing. He liked a lot of old school rap, though, so at least the music was good. By dinner, they were fighting. I think my mom broke one of his trophies, and he slapped her for it. I tried stepping in, but he just slapped me, too. I socked him back before she got between us. She took his side, of course, and ended up smacking me like I started it. After that, they locked me in their room and then—” He grimaced.“Made up in mine.”
His tone let on more than he knew. She could tell the memory tore him to pieces, but those pieces were stronger for it.
“I probably would’ve died that night if it wasn’t for you. I don’t mean to sound all dramatic, but it’s true. I was in so much pain, and I ain’t even talking about the beating, you know?”
She came up on her elbow. “You don’t have to tell me, if it’s too much. I know I asked, but—”
“No, I want to. It’s kinda the biggest moment of my life. And you were there for it.”
His eyes flicked to hers. The moonlight clung to his lashes, reflected in his tears. She rested her head back on his chest, blinking away a tear herself.
“I felt cold, and I think that’s where I got the idea. I found some lighter fluid and a book of matches when I was looking for tissues. My nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. I had to use these napkins from a takeout bag, which was so gross. But yeah. I poured the gas on the bed, lit the match, and was right there, right there to burn it all down. Then I saw you.”
She hugged him, his shirt bunched in her fist.
“And really, I should be grateful he was such a fan. Hell, he bought the movie the week it came out.” He winced then sipped his drink. “Sorry, I just— It was Tell Me Nothing. Where I saw you. The case was lying by his TV. The plastic kinda caught the light and flickered. It’s funny cause I was so shocked I dropped the match. But it just landed in my hand.”
So that was where he got it. A spark, and there would’ve been nothing but ashes.
“I still have it, by the way. The movie. I was thinking about asking you to sign it, like, as a reminder, to look how far I’ve come—”
“I’d love to,” she said, wrapping her leg around his.
A breeze swept around the house and rustled the hedges. The scent of jasmine drifted over from her neighbor’s garden.
“It’s crazy how no one called the cops. I had to walk about ten miles to get back to my dad’s. It took all night. After he got home, I just said she dropped me off early. Haven’t heard from her since.”
Aliyah fell asleep while listening to him. His voice pulled her under, strong and steady, like his heartbeat. Everything else faded to black.
Her leg kicked. “Oh my gosh.” She came up on her elbow again. “I fell asleep.”
He snickered. “That’s okay. It’s getting late. I get it—”
“No, I had too much. I should’ve been sober for this.”
“I don’t think so.” He brushed her hair aside. “I’m glad you let loose tonight. You deserved it.”
“Did I miss anything? You said you walked home.”
“No, that was everything. You’re good.”
He kissed her before lying back down. His soft lips left her with the only part of the story that mattered. Them. It wasn’t about what happened then. It was about what he made happen now.
She curled up beside him, in tears once more.
“Do you wanna know my favorite thing about you?” he asked, drawing circles on her shoulder.
“It’s not the rap? I always loved how I inspired you.”
“Rap’s a close second, but no. This one’s more about me, and how I see myself.”
His heart pounded. She reached over to hold his hand, folding it in hers.
“Growing up, I always felt like a bad kid. I didn’t want to be, but I couldn’t help lashing out sometimes. When I first met you, I thought I kinda saw the same thing. You seemed mean. But in a good way.”
“Mean? I thought you said I was hilarious?”
“Yeah, no, absolutely. I was just talking about your vibe. You seemed like a baddie.”
“I am,” she said with another hiccup.
She meant to do that. He chuckled and got the hiccups himself.
“It’s kinda cool how my first impression of you actually came from your fans. You don’t really post a lot online, so most of what I learned about you I got from them. You were like this enigma to me, half bad, half good.”
The lights of the city disappeared, leaving behind a watery blur. His shirt grew damp under her.
“It’s like a switch,” she whispered, “You either get me, or you get Aliyah Gavins.”
He fidgeted. “Yeah, no, sorry, that’s not what I meant. I get what you’re saying, but it’s not about you being one or the other. It’s about you being both, good and bad. You balance them so well you made me believe I could, too. I know it’s corny, but to me, you were always two different people, like, in one. I called you the lady and the punk. It made me believe I could be—”
“The punk and the gentleman.”
Goosebumps ran down her arms. She had a new favorite part about herself. And about him.
She pulled him closer, breathing in the last of his cologne. The boy worked up quite a sweat playing ping pong. She beat him nine games to none. No mercy. But so much fun.
She snorted. That rhymed.
“Hey, tell me something bad. Something that you don’t like about me.”
“That’s impossible. There’s nothing I don’t like about you.”
She nudged him. “Come on, now. I can take it. If there was gonna be someone to tell, right?”
He tickled her for using his line against him. She tried to get him back, but his long limbs moved in ways she couldn’t. He pinched her side as she rolled on top of him. The alcohol rocked her back and forth.
“Fine then, don’t tell me,” she said with another hiccup, “Not like you’re some big fan, right? Let’s be real, I hardly know you. What’s your name again, Calvin?”
He giggled. “What am I supposed to say? I love you. You’re great in everything. I couldn’t think of something bad if I wanted to.”
A lot of good hung on that word, bad. She loved what he said, but she hated how he said it. Wait, flip that. She hated what he said, but she loved how he said it.
She leaned in to kiss him. “Typical fan.”
He placed his finger on her lips. “And boyfriend,” he added, kissing her before she kissed him, “Why not both?”